As exciting as starting a new job is, getting a fresh start in a new place with new people, now that I’m literally a few hours away, rocking a brand new outfit, freshly cut and dyed hair, I can’t help but have a wave of anxiety rush over me, and I think that’s perfectly okay and normal.
I think I felt like this at almost every job I started, but this is when the questions start coming in. What if people don’t like me? What if I don’t do a good job and they start doubting me? What if because I’m being hired as a manager other people feel as if they’re getting skipped over in favor of me and make it their goal to see me fail? What if something I think I know how to do right, I don’t know how to do as good as I thought, and people start to think why’d we hire her when we could’ve had anyone?
I’ve always been a hard worker, a good worker, but it doesn’t slip my mind that that hasn’t always mattered. I never got a degree, I couldn’t afford one, I had rent to pay and needed to support more than just myself since I was 18 years old. I always had to work a lot, but it also doesn’t slip my mind that even though I spent 9 years at one job, this is still the 10th job I’ve had. Sure that includes a few quit after the first day bombs, but regardless being the hardest worker hasn’t always worked out for me. So being as this is the best opportunity I’ve ever received, one that pays decent with room to grow, and people to learn from, and people that seem likeable with a healthy company culture and the work/life balance I always read about but never actually got anywhere, I still worry "What if I haven’t learned enough yet?"
Regardless, I’m gonna give it my best shot, but in these final moments before it all begins again I just cant help but stress and worry a bit since it’s easy to say "Yeah I can swim to that island" but actually getting there is a whole other story, and I just hope I don’t drown because I really, really need a win this time.
Posted by Aliyah Guerrero on 2022-07-27 13:39:31
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