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Perspective is the mental view or outlook an individual has on a situation. Perspectives vary from person to person due to life experiences, values and belief systems, and oftentimes from where a person stands on a particular issue. Being open to someone else’s perspective will increase your chance for a mutually satisfying conflict resolution. This means being curious and receptive to other points of view and ideas. Here are 5 ways you can use perspective to improve conflict resolution:
- Be curious. In order to gain perspective, you need to be curious and ask questions. For instance, consider what questions remain unanswered for you in this conflict situation? What is it you need to understand about the other person’s point of view? What is their story?
- Listen for perspective. Now that you have asked questions with genuine curiosity, it is time to listen deeply. As the other person tells their story, be fully present and listen without judgment. Suspend your disbelief. If you are asking yourself “what planet are they from or how could they possibly believe that garbage?” you have not suspended your disbelief.
- Share your perspective. Being able to express yourself and your point-of-view in a way that can be heard and understood is as important as listening. You can do this with an “I-statement.” Here is a simple formula: I feel (insert an emotion/feeling) when (describe the behavior of the other person). I need (indicate a need, value or behavior that is important to you that is not being fulfilled). For example, “I feel frustrated when the work you were assigned is turned in two days late causing me to miss a major deadline. I need you to turn in your assigned work as agreed or I need to hear from you about any delays.”
- Beware of perceptual blindness. Expect to miss important visual cues or information that is right in front of you. When you are concentrating on a specific task, over stimulated with mental tasks, or even looking for something you anticipate seeing, it can cause you to be blind to key facts. When dealing with intense emotional conflict, you need to be open to hearing, seeing and sensing everything around you to reduce this perceptual blindness.
- Close the perception gap. The classic statement “perception is reality” simply means that how people read your intentions, attitude and behaviors is directly linked to how they will engage with you. If someone says “you are disrespectful and your humor is offensive” and you respond with “NO, I AM NOT THAT WAY!”, then there is a gap between how you see yourself and how they perceive you. To change this perception, identify the behaviors or messages you might consider changing in the future. Use the feedback given to you as an opportunity to align your intentions with how you appear to other people.
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Source by Patricia M Porter
